I found you in America

it’s Methodism
A religion
A thousand years of hate
and love
and middling piano notes

it’s your own philosophy
it’s Jesus
and all of his child rape
it’s the Moon
it’s God

it’s a day in America
with everything that comes with it
it’s your boss
and his dick
it’s the road
and it’s Frisbee

it’s Jesus again!
and it’s more Jesus.

It’s where you live.
Underneath Jesus.
Underneath love.

It’s a ludicrous paradigm of revelations
it’s bad porn.

it’s a long drive
with country relatives

it’s a long whiskey
and a long night

give me the long night
and the long whiskey

and tell me everything’s gonna be fine
Hunter S Thompson fine
heavily armed
and heavily medicated
and beautiful

perkily titted
and innocent
and dancing
under the influence of drugs
one of the dances your ancestors might have done

wearing a chiffon tutu
and making your lips into a delicate “O”

it’s rambunctious
it’s mysterious
it’s Methadone
and Method Acting
it’s love
it’s mine

I give you mine
and you give me yours
on the playground
after the fiesta
after all the suns have set
and all the televisions have been turned off
and the movie theaters have shut down
and New York has been turned off
and Washington is only a rumor

where wolves
and vagrants
and small burger joints
coalesce into beautiful oil paintings
where beggars nod philosophy
and beat poets
scream into the wilderness about their mothers

and I found you.

I found you in America
where I lost you too, the next day

I found you with a gun
and then, I found you with another gun
and then, I found you with my gun.

this is my gun
and this is my gun
and this is my gun, again

holy
mediocre
nearby

the visage of a saint
wearing mushrooms
in Slovakia
or Slovenia
a Sorb
with a locket
and a woman’s voice
and a god’s eyes

language is my gun
a thousand fields
and a thousand nights
Arabian and otherwise
Czechoslovakian
Albanian
Zulu

Give me the Zulu
and give me the House of Saud
Give me all of China
Give me Japan
I’m big in Japan.

Give me Jerusalem
and Palestine
and all places which have two names
or three

give me the cheeseburger
and take me to Turtle Island
where I have Wind in My Hair
And Dances With AssWipes
and all of the Lakota Wisdom
Shining over my Jalopy
With Jake and Fred
and Elmer Fudd
high as kites in a cheap motel
wondering when the sun will set
so we can go skiing

give me the moonlight
and give me the deliverance
I am the deliverance of the moonlight
no longer American, or white
no longer strictly conscious
but subject to the interference of an ancestral voice

speaking from the darkness

the shaman speaks in the ridiculous darkness
a ridiculous darkness which is both real and unreal
humorous and terrifying
where all lovers come to die
and all movies come to be born
in the caveman Saturn of the dawn
around your arms