this is a scientific lecture

this is a scientific lecture
ready em up on the bar
even em out

my qualifications
up my ass

the subject of today’s lecture is masks
as in, why aren’t you wearing one?
and, why are you wearing a mask?

if I put my ass very close to your face
you’ll notice that it has two mammalian protuberances
as Dr. Frank Zappa points out
and these protuberances ineffably take on the supposition–

no, ladies and gentlemen, the science is not settled
settle down now
settlers

mein Herren and Frauen
mein Unglück

tell me how the light is
does your hair look good
is it shining
can I taste it
come up here on stage
puissant child

Jesus loves you
because that’s just the kind of guy he is
dumb and unemployed
come and gone

countrymen
shrouded with disease
supplicants
waiters in line and at station
servants

my servants

hear me, as Pharaoh says,
I who am merely the surveyor of these ruins
my right eye is the day and my left eye is the night
and the waters of the Nile spurt from my sandals
the desert comes over you
as a teacher
with his weapons–

we surmise
gentlemen
that the nature of the universe
heretofore unexplained
is going to become a whole lot more explained
and rather soon

I put it to you that
your duty
as men and women of science
is to take your wallet
and come to me
and pay for your testimony
to be recorded

and this I shall do
even if you die now
because I already know what has happened