Master Copy

I had split myself in two
and chose to leave some
gray areas in the new copy
like a photocopy, not as clear
pleasing, or useful as the original
but still able to function
for all intents and purposes
in tasks that require no heart or moxie
sure, she can smile
but she won’t feel happy
a xerox me is a little fuzzy
around the edges
of emotion and ambition
those bullet points that are subheadings
of the non-physical realms
crispness is absolutely necessary
to feel true pain
and true joy
and wonder
and gratitude
and in all matters of the heart
eventually, xerox me
would have demanded another copy
“the original has been lost”
she would proclaim
with unshakeable confidence
“and I am all that is left-
make copies from me,
and I will be
the master”
But there would be no light in her eyes
and the child would have disappeared
searching for the next lifetime
to inhabit
when the child is not nurtured
she has a tendency to wander
for curiosity of the world and beyond
and in search of divine potential.
Her sources are limited
without a master copy.
So the long and short of it is
that I have decided to shred xerox me
for fear that she would take over my life
and sell me to a mundane existence
that would eventually leave all of my most
beautiful flowers
without water
and my white wolf
without food.
xerox me has no concern
for much other than herself
and she foolishly tries to convince others
she is the original
but the originals among her
can tell that she is not.
i am relived to know that cheating
in this life-test did not progress
and hinder my progress
I really am here to learn
and damn it
I dont care about the grade
if the teacher cannot tell
who the real me is…