Motherfucking Jeopardy at The Gypsy Parlor Café and Bar
Hayburner on tap. Todd, the bar owner, turns up
the TV’s volume: It’s time
for Jeopardy. “Drink and play, Balls,”
he commands. All questions must be shouted
at the TV, as well as preceded
by the phrase, “What is motherfucking.”
Todd clears his throat, then demonstrates:
“What is motherfucking Donkey Punch?
What is motherfucking Enceladus?
What is motherfucking Hiram
Ulysses Grant?” A Daily Double. Tequila shots are on
the house, as long as the Jeopardy contestant bets all
of his or her money, and asks the right question. Not tonight.
Todd shakes his head. The people seated at the bar boo
and hiss. The bartenders laugh as they mix
and pour drinks. Another Hayburner for me.
“That guy has no guts, Balls,” Todd bellows. “Absolutely no
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