Thanatophobia

As always, I wake early to bake
it’s 4 AM, I finish and try to get some rest,
and I can’t get this specific thought out my brain:
death.
How I want to remember being alive, and how I won’t remember anyone or anything.
How does it feel to not remember being alive?
It scares me.
Like my blanket covering me one day, a casket will cover my consciousness instead.
I want to cry and my heart pumps and keeps pumping. I can’t go to sleep now no matter how
tired I am.
Weeks later I can’t get these thoughts out of my brain, and all I can do is cry while exploring and
explaining my thoughts.
Everyone says “it’s natural” or “live your life to the fullest”.
Have you thought so deeply about it?
How horrifying it actually is?
“You have so much time”
Time passes so quickly… really.
What is the purpose of everything?
I can’t comprehend how we are born to die.
No one knows what will actually happen after death, and because I’m living right now I get up,
continue finishing my cinnamon rolls.
Continue with my thoughts.
Push through the day like a rolling pin
to sell some students sweetness in life.

Sweetness, a few people look forward to in their day.
These few people probably take advantage of the sweet things in life, unknowing about the
deep thoughts of death.