Waves When the wave of humiliation comes it will knock you down your shoulder and ear will bang on the hard sand floor when you're pushed down by tumbling saltwater entering your nose your lungs. The wave wins, you are small. When the wave of mortification comes you will be hit over and over you open your mouth but no words come out there is no name for the emptiness in your stomach pit. In ways that cannot be blissed, that hurt. I'm not saying, 'that's life' we have been hit over and over already if we're alive death wish addiction sexual errors irresistible bad investments the wrong food habits pointless debasing work laying depressed on the wood floor sinking in mist that doesn't evanesce. You never recover because there is another wave. As my friend said as she held my shaking hand, "It's only fear." Yeah, only waves.