Local News

A green screened weather gal,

curves sharply defined,

stands before a colorful map

silhouetting her money makers.

Then, a honking horn obtrudes

and a cartoon school bus drives

into the frame as she proclaims

the next morning to be a rainy one.

 

(Ringo may have been wrong, then.

Tomorrow’s bus stop weather has

been announced with certainty.)

 

Segment over, now to local sports

and brief updates as to what high

school teams will be bashing into each other

the following afternoon and evening.

Also, a video of new uniforms to be

worn by the Fairfield Muck Hounds, a

short season minor league squad inhabiting

an outdated local stadium.

 

(So how many Muck Hounds did it take to

lob the old horse hide through a stained glass

window of the church abutting the ball field?)

 

The news, however, continues

after a message concering the planned

availability of wood fired pizza on High Street.

 

No injuries were reported Saturday

when a storm collapsed a wedding canopy

in use on the grounds of the Hilton Inn.

Fortunately, the accident occurred prior to

the dancing part of the reception.

 

(Having excused himself prior to the incident,

Father Flynn had been pondering a plywood cover

at the former site of St. Sebastian’s pain.)