Cost of life

I live life at a cost
That don’t nobody wanna pay
the debt collector come
Cause everybody got they day
They probably find a cure to death
One the 32nd of May
I could never rest in peace
Micheal said that heaven can wait

aint y’all seeing all of this shit going on
Its too real
Cant you see the shit that you’re shown
Is too fake
Better make it right for ya gone
Make it right for ya home
For ya know
its too late

Too hard
My gosh
My house
My car

My mind
My time not mine
My work
My dirt
Not worth my grind
Im hurt

19
Chasing a dream of getting out
The you find out
You need the green
A good amount
Play your cards right
Where the cards
What the cards like
Know its hard
Its a hard life
You can find me

With abandoned degrees
life’s hot as hell
Heaven knows it never would freeze
Who is woke as I
Ain’t nobody as sleepy as me

Brother Im tired.
But I’ll be fine
Losing my pride cause
I just told a truth and a lie
Testing the fire
Smoke and get high

Try not to get braggadocios
When Im showing my shine
talent is like a ocean
How im floating around
They try to copy the motion
I just cope with a smile
bound to cause a commotion
Ain’t no holding me down

Im getting right at a price
That don’t nobody wanna pay
And the debt collector come
Cause everybody got they day
They probably find a cure to death
One the 32nd of May
I could never rest in peace
Micheal said that heaven can wait

Hey aint y’all seeing all of this shit going on
Its too real
Cant you see the shit that you’re shown
Is too fake
Better make it right for ya gone
Make it right for ya home
For ya know
its too late

I come from a place we
Don’t be talking bout no therapy
You don’t need no help cause my
Momma ain’t get no help for me
Got a lot of my peers didn’t make it to
Graduation but
You ain’t out the house by graduation
Then its charity

Depending on the place
They cant see the racial disparity
Moving place to place
It done really given me clarity
I done seen a difference
The school pipeline to prison
US cause division
They told us don’t play the victim

Make systems that fuck us over
Tell us don’t stray from the system

How long
we spose to wait

How long
its spose to take

How many spose to died
They say they woke
But not stay awake
I been awoken since a child
I mean

I know the price to pay

Im getting right at a price
That aint nobody spose to pay
And the debt collector come
Cause everybody got they day
They probably find a cure to death
One the 32nd of May
I could never rest in peace
Micheal said that heaven can wait

Hey aint y’all seeing all of this shit going on
Its too real
Cant you see the shit that you’re shown
Is too fake
Better make it right for ya gone
Make it right for ya home
For ya know
its too late

~~~
Jayna Marks is one of the best poets Cacti Fur has ever published. She is a young adult we have published several times before. Here and here are some of her other poems on this site. Originally from Mississippi, Jayna now writes and performs in Las Cruces, New Mexico.