Poor Jesus Intermingled with emails from hot horny models, offers of ED help, notices that people are looking at my LinkedIn profile, ads for Elixir of Eros and 24-hour bathroom remodels - I’m suddenly receiving daily junk mail from Jesus Christ. Subject – The biblical error they don’t want you to know or a question – Exodus error causing you pain? What wayward algorithm or misguided bot directed these emails my way? Poor Jesus. Bad enough he is trotted out to defend odious practices, ideas. Now he’s being dumped ignominiously in a junk mail folder. I haven’t clicked on a message yet. God knows what promise of salvation or solicitation they contain. ~ ~ ~ What Happened How did we travel from rainforest to tundra? Did I make it all up, splash on too much red, drape too much on your spare frame? Was it me, my baroque temperament? Was it your stabbing minimalism? What about the four hundred nights (or was it five) when you held my hand while we slept? It meant nothing? Didn’t I walk home mornings in summer fog, flushed with sleep and our lovemaking – or was that another time and another lover who used to live a few houses down the road from you? Do I always make it up? Are lovers interchangeable? (you said there was some truth to that, you a skeleton key that can open many locks) Do you believe that? Do I? ~ ~ ~ It’s My Fault (Can you steal a place or a dream?) I talked it up too much, sang its praises, hardscrabble, rough- edged Rockland, the Breakwater Light that juts out nearly a mile into the harbor, the secluded rest area overlooking Glen Cove, fresh Darkstar coffee from Rock City, the haddock at Hill’s Seafood, free Fridays at the Farnsworth. And I didn’t stop there. I gushed, as if I was bragging about a new lover, had to show you Crescent Beach across the channel from the fir-covered islands of Mussel Ridge, drag you up the steep stairways to the Owls Head Light, drive to the top of Mt. Battie, introduce you to Millay. I boasted, showed off. My lover died, but I still had the place, the crooked peninsulas, Penobscot Bay. It was mine before I pimped it out for your pleasure. I know - it’s my fault. I was besotted, hasty, careless, possessed of a heady feeling that I could be someone else there. This is where I am now, my manifesto - I no longer yearn for one man, a dot on the landscape, one star in the sky. I want the entire sky. I claim as mine the sound of the sea sloshing against pylons, the groaning of the wooden docks as they lift and fall, the screeching gulls, the knotted seaweed, the smashed shells. I want the whole goddamn ocean as far as my eyes can see, southeast to Matinicus, to the windmills on Vinalhaven. I want it back, all of it. ~ ~ ~ Facebook Voyeur I hadn’t seen you since Mom’s funeral in 2004 and there you were, dissecting a lobster, daintily sucking its red claws, your perfectly manicured nails, shapely fingers spread wide. It was as if someone shot the video to demonstrate how to eat a lobster like a lady. Ladylike, such a concern in our childhood. As if nailing this part guaranteed a good and safe life. The video – vintage Mom, vain Mom – the exaggerated gestures, calculated flourishes. She left her mark on you, that small wine stain birthmark on your left wrist.